Scared

I don't know where to start, so I guess I'll start with speaking from my heart.

When I met you, I felt relieved. I felt like I found what was finally going to be it.
I started getting feeling that we all so familiar, but at the same time all so brand new.
I enjoyed spending my time with you and that seemed to be all I wanted to do.
Just to think, I had never paid anyone attention this fast.
I can remember the first time we stood talking for what seems like hours over drinks.
Picking each others minds wondering what each other thinks.
Then it came out. "You know, I had a crush on you" Sometimes the truth can set you free.
It was great to see that the feeling was mutual. It went from there and from then on I didn't care. I didn't care what others thought or what they would say. No outside interference. We spent several weeks just talking and getting to know each other. So now we have our own time and not each others. Things are different now, but I feel no different than I did months ago. So I'll just let life play out. I'm too scared to be in the pursuit of happiness.

Love me quickly

If I had twenty million dollars in a vault somewhere baby,
It wouldn’t matter anyway
Cause the doctor told me that I’m dying slowly
So I guess I got to love you while I’m here baby
Did you know
The news said the sky is falling, the globe is warming
My country warring, leaders are lying, time is running
Low and low baby No where to go
I know we just met but baby could u love me quickly, quickly
I… want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly

You said you didn’t even know my name,
But told me we mind as well make ours the same
What do you think baby
Think it might as well be light years away,
We just better land on the stars before they come crashing down cause I heard the news say
the sky is falling, the globe is warming My country warring,
leaders are lying, time is running Low and low baby No where to go
I want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly
Yea that’s right baby kiss me like the world is quacking
Do it like the earth is shaking
You got it baby, that’s right lovely Fill me like our time is sprinting faster running out of time
know we just met but baby could u love me quickly, quickly
I want you to love me like you know the world is about to end baby, quickly

I'm So Tired

Over the past 2 weeks I have had more deaths around me that I can bare. I always try to be the strong one and hold it together but its pretty hard. Its not only the old and sick that are dying, but also the young. I went on a trip this weekend with lots a great people. On the way back, I got a call that one of my friends had past the day before. I was in a car full of people so I tried to hold it together. I couldn't help but to cry to myself as tears rolled down my cheeks. Why so young? I know that they are going to a better place. It sounds bad, but I can't wait until I get out of the world of sin. Sometimes it can be hell here on earth. When I die, I ask that its a celebration, a celebration of me being ease and me going home. I want there to be a party, no said music. All this dying made me realize that I have to stop trying to hold on to so many things in life and take out the trash. Life is short, but there is no reason for me to have hell on this earth. A lot of people I love to death, but everyone is not for you and I am not for everyone. Another day another chapter. Some people are meant to be a chapter in a book, while some are meant to be a book in a series. I'm looking for those characters that will stand the test of time and be that person that I'm able to write about in every series, book, chapter, page, and even paragraph. A huge part of me is dying so that I can live and I'm finally excepting it. Death is truly something to celebrate because life gets better, so now I've drying my tears. Death is only the beginning of life.

Can you tell me.

When I think about all the guys I'm with all the time
Yes I like to please their bodies but I feel like it's a waste of time
Can you tell me what is wrong
I'm supposed to love the fact that I never gave a boy my heart
If I told him I did I lied and instead I tore his heart apart
Can you tell me how long because
Right now I just wanna be staring into your eyes
Right now I'm so lost but when I find you I'll be found
And I won't have to ask all these questions like can someone tell me where you are
What'll happen if i settle and just go along with what I have
Cause there's a difference between good and great And good wasn't built to last
Can you tell me is this all for me
What would it take to be In a love I know that's right for me
And I know that you don't even know me yet But I believe that one day I'll be, where you are

Death vs Life

It's amazing how the death of people in your family and in your circle can make you change your outlook on everything. A lot of death has been around me lately and I'm not so sure about my own life sometimes. I was really wondering what was going on with me last night as I sat in the bed and all of a sudden became depressed and started to cry. I didn't know what was in the happening at that moment, but today, I found out that the very person I was on the phone with explaining it to them had someone die. In the same week an aunt had passed and it has made me realize that life is no joke. I really should cherish those who are good in my life and watch out for those who hinder me from living, mostly myself. I pray for not only my family, but my friends and associates as well. Life is to short to let death kill us so we should live. You were my rock. I'll forever miss u EH, ATB, and PH.